First that I write to understand what I’m feeling & feel what I’m thinking.

That I cried in the shower this morning to cleanse away with salt…and renew

That I don’t understand why people trade their life for money, money for things, and things for half the life they started with. I have expensive taste but want a freedom reimbursement for my soul.

That I don’t feel like I belong in this madhouse of not-now, not-us, not-here. Of tamed desire, neon gods, fake smiles and comfort cages. My soul is a wild thing. My heart — a freedom song.

That I embrace the darkness, and I need help to memorize the light, to be reminded daily .. as my dad tells me “this too shall pass “and something greater will come ..

That I regret all the chances not taken, the beauty not shown, the passion not chased, the heart not invested, the dreams not believed in, enough. That I’m still trying to forgive myself for all the calls my fear didn’t let me answer.. I work on this daily..

That I live for that aha of the soul that lives in the calm, quiet eye of the storm. I long for that peace that surpasses all understanding, the kind that only comes to you when – tired of fighting reality with all your arguments, excuses & distractions – you finally give in & let the heart take over.

That I believe the world needs more creative middle fingers & less polite I’m-sorry’s, more art & less apologies, more wild & less tame, more jumping from the highest cliff & less fear of falling or flying, more trusting your own intuition & less bs excuses for not creating your life with every breath you have left.

That my soul craves adventure & intensity, passion, connection, the company of dreamers. That just Maybe the quest of all our complications is the simplicity that keeps eluding us. The beautiful unknown suits me better than safety …

That I do care about your name, your appearance, your career , accomplishments, life status, resume, your past and your retirement plan…But not that much… I want to know what makes you feel alive….
The only question worth a heart is “How Much Life, how much passion?

That I love you , I love you, I love you…

That I managed to get 1 hour of interrupted soul searching and full presence out of the last 48+ of unnecessary stress, poor sleep, anticipation of a hurricane… And my little one having a fever and sickness that has had me in the hospital & worried for days…

Okay spirit , you win… I’m listening….

#ilovemybed #spilledink #writingofagirl #midnighthoughts
goodnight 🙏🏼
SE