I read a fabulous article saying that we should never settle in the grey area when it comes to relationships, and that if someone is not a clear “Fuck Yes!” then we shouldn’t go there.

I absolutely love this idea.

Don’t guess, don’t make stuff up and don’t invest in the grey. Clear, simple and easy!

So in dating (and in life) it’s this simple, why do we make it so complicated?

how often have you been encouraged, or encouraged your friends to live in the grey?

“I’m sure she/he really likes you but just got caught up at work”  “Just go out with them anyway—you never know, it might change.”  “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince/princess .” “Just hang in there and see what happens.” Fuck no! Stop kissing frogs.

Stop telling your friends he (or she) might call, they probably aren’t married or that they just need to be less picky. Stop making up stuff to justify that the person your talking to wasn’t a Fuck Yes… And for everyone’s sake, stop saying those encouraging, bs things to your friends who are wondering if they should date in the grey . To quote the classic, “just not into you!” Simple as that. Move on. There are a lot of people in this world..

(And, yes, I am mostly saying this to women because I think we are far more likely to get trapped in the grey, to play nice, to give too many chances and to justify things being less than great.)

I understand why we do this. I know about wanting to wander around Italy with a partner, a lover, a soul mate and putting it off because we haven’t found them yet…having someone to share life with..But are we so scared of being alone that we will choose unhappiness, mediocrity and hard work over dinner for one? Yes, it can be hard to be single, but surely being happy on our own is better than being discontent with another. Right!? YES!!!!

I’ll admit I’ve dated in the grey out of loneliness, seeing untapped potential, out of not wanting to be too picky (all my friends say I need to be more open) . Giving someone a chance , and then another.. But I know deep down that if it’s not a Fuck Yes, it is a solid No. I realize this concept the most at this point in my life.

It should also apply to a lot of other areas in your life.. Career, commitments, adventures,  be excited about life…if it’s mediocre just say no!

And sooooo, I commit, again..to finding a Fuck Yes, in love and in life—friends,travel ideas, jobs,even clothes shopping, everything! It feels super cool and freeing.

F*ck Yes, no less.

Boom!

Goodnight,

Sarah XoX

*lotsofFbombs #sorrynotsorry