Just some of my thoughts on relationships ..
I’ve learned that most people don’t think about what they really want in their relationships. They just go with who they’re attracted to, and then eventually fall into dynamics that can be unhealthy or short-lived. Some pick partners that are completely wrong and then complain because they wish they were married or could find the one. It can be super frustrating ..I call it falling in love with potential. Seeing what you want , dreaming up what it “could” become…only to realize its not what you thought and you get pretty bummed out. Its happened to us all at one time or another… I say wake up and be open to finding what you truly want. Your not going to be able to check every single box off the check list you made for your potential partner but ask yourself what’s truly important..
Its best to know what to look for in a relationship that you want long term, not just what you gravitate toward at the initial stages. It can be blinding and then before you know it you’re disappointed.
Of course initial attraction is a necessity …But that’s obvious, and it’s also not enough if you’re interested in building something lasting. Now, for the fun part: how do we know what to look for?
what are you willing (and not willing) to negotiate? Sooooo … how do you know what your non-negotiables are?
Think about your past. Based on your previous experiences in relationships, you know what worked and what didn’t. You also know the results of some of the things you have negotiated. Maybe not then but you do now. You also know by negotiating these things, how it made you feel in the relationship. The morals and values you want in your partner. Its different for everyone… I know something small about myself, along with many other things, I need to be mentally stimulated to have a successful relationship, intrigued if you will. Its not all physical, that’s just a super awesome bonus to finding someone you trust fully to fulfill all your fantasies.
Be flexible, and know that your non-negotiables can change. What you were once willing to negotiate, you no longer are. Or what you once were not willing to negotiate, you are now. Hopefully, it’s because you’re at a different place and your wants have changed. Not because you are compromising self.
This is the number one thing I believe everyone should look for in a successful relationship: You need to see home in your partner’s eyes.
Let me explain this. There are many people you may want to sleep with. There are many that you may find interesting, intelligent, funny, and sexy. But out of those, how many do you actually picture yourself coming home to when you’ve had a shitty day and don’t want to face tomorrow? How many of them do you feel safe? How many can you be your true self? How many have the ability to create such a space that no matter what happens out there, you know when you get home everything’s going be okay. Not because they say so but because they make you feel it. There’s a difference between someone being supportive through dialogue and someone making you feel invincible and beautiful. Supportive-on-paper is not home. Being at home is a feeling.
Home is someone who pulls you out of yesterday and gives you tomorrow. Yes, there are also the pillow fights, and banana pancakes in bed on a Sunday morning, passion on a Friday night with no pants on, knowing there is no one better for your children/future children. But more than that, there’s a trust so strong you prefer to live emotionally naked. To me, that’s “home.” And you need to see it ….
There’s a magic that happens when you find someone like this, and there’s no other word for it.
So if you’re dating someone, ask yourself if you see home in his or her eyes. Or if you’re positioning yourself to attract someone in your life, put it on your list of non-negotiables. It’s time to relate better to each other. “those who don’t believe in magic will never find it” 😉
Now go find your human and if you already think you have don’t take it for granted ..cherish it.
Love, SE
#myhuman #feelslikehome #love #emotionallynaked
P.S, I read this today when someone posted a MCM,(of course I couldn’t post the picture, but here is the caption below.. I had to share..its truly beautiful and I hope to find this type of love.
“Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end. #MCM #MCE #MyForeverFriend“
naturalhighs33 